1) The farther it is to the next gas stop, the larger the bug that will hit your shield exactly on the sight line.
2) When you dry out after riding through some rain, it will start raining again just when you begin to feel comfortable.
3) The chance that your bike insurer will find out about that big ticket received in a non-reciprocal state is 100%.
4) If you run out of gas, no matter which way you decide to push, the closest gas station will always be uphill and in the other direction. Corollary: The likelihood of running out increases when all of the nearby gas stations are closed.
5) The chance of your helmet dropping hard onto a rough concrete or asphalt surface is proportional to it’s newness and expense.
6) You only realize the bike’s keys are in your pants pocket after you’ve put on all of your riding gear.
7) The more riders around, the more likely you will:
a) Forget the kill switch is in the off position while trying to start your bike;
b) Ride off with the side stand down;
c) Ride off with the petcock closed;
d) ride along for miles with the turn signal on;
e) get stung by a bee and do a roadside crazy dance shedding your riding gear.
8) The scarcity of motels and camping spots depends on how late in the day it is.
9) Your first successful multi-gear wheelie will be past a heretofore unobserved police officer who dislikes motorcycles.
10) How long it takes to receive any back ordered part is proportional to how badly it is needed.
11) When your throttle cable snaps, you will always coast to a halt in front of a crack-house bust in progress.
12) The patch-wearing guy named ‘Tiny’ really DOES want to know what you are looking at.
13) Your battery will die at the exact same time something else on the bike breaks and you will think they are related.
14) The cute girl is probably talking to you despite the fact you own a bike.
15) The chance of rain depends on how accessible your rain gear is.
16) A bad day of riding is better than a good day at work.
Now…go twist a grip and have a great day!